Wednesday, December 10, 2014

:: Percent of Your Daily Value ::

Well, here we sit in December.  DECEMBER.  Am I the only one losing my mind over the fact that it's already freaking DECEMBER?!  [Insert maniacal laugh here]

Wow.  Ok, so hi.  

I have so much to say, but my thoughts are a mixed up jumble - much like the boxes of puzzles the kids have gotten into in the messy closet upstairs.  The glass of homemade kahlua isn't helping, I'm afraid...

December.

Welp...Things are...good.  Here's a running inventory.  I'll start with the youngest and work my way up:

Liam:  He's thoroughly enjoying preschool - er, Pre-K, rather.  Apparently, he's even learning some Chinese.  I wouldn't know.  He won't tell me.  He's learning quickly - letters, numbers, how to not be a jerk to the other kids, how to respect authority and (most importantly), how to love Jesus.  Oh, this sweety.  He can kill me with his sweetness and then turn around and kill me with his sassiness...all in a scan of 5 seconds.  He's amazing.  

Delia:  Well, as you can imagine, this one...she's an extroverted, giggly, sassy little miss.  She begins her school days by groaning as she rolls out of bed.  It takes an act of God to move this child.  I'm rejoicing if she gets out of bed, dressed and downstairs in 30 minutes.  She is in her own little time zone.  She loves to read.  Like, LOVES.  She's secretly glad her little boyfriend Carver left his Sonic comic book here.  I found her by the Christmas tree, wrapped in a blanket, head propped up on a pillow, giggling over this book (we'll make sure to bring it with us back up north for Carver later this month).  All in all...this girl is good.  Learning how to be a good friend, how to be beautiful on the inside and trying to find patience and tenderness (she's like her mama in this area).  She is a total crackup - always flying around the house with a mess of brown hair flying behind her.  She's excited to start ballet again and loves to play the piano/compose her own songs.  She's a musical genius.

Aidan:  This kid has come a looooong way.  Oh, how we've risen above the challenges we were faced with at the beginning of this Portland journey!  I'm so impressed every day by this kid's wisdom, intuitiveness, personality, huge heart and love for me and for others.  Sure...he's still an annoying big brother, but my heart grew 3 sizes the other day when he brought his wallet to the Christmas Tree Farm to buy himself and his siblings each their own ornament.  He thinks of others.  I used to be worried about his lack of empathy.  But I was wrong...he has it.  In buckets.  He loves Royal Rangers, reading, playing soccer and snuggling with mama.  Oh, and video games.  He's blossoming, people.  Really blossoming.  I love hearing stories of how he finds his little sister at recess and hunts for ladybugs with her and her little friends.  Of his improving behavior and attention during class.  He is one awesome kid.

Me:  Yeah, hi.  I'm coming along too.  This grieving process hit me about 3 months ago.  I thought I had eluded the sadness...been spared....whatever.  Ha!  Oh, man.  It hit me.  I used to pride myself on my extroverted-ness.  I've become a bit reclusive, I'm afraid.  Wallowing, even.  And maybe a bit bipolar-ish as I am happy/sad.  I know this is just a season and I'm trying to do my best to be happy and positive as I move through it.  It comes and goes in waves, really.  It's hard to not get caught up in the mundane-ness of the days.  You'll never believe this, but it turns out taking care of this house, cooking meals, doing countless mountains of laundry and raising three ridiculously cute and smart children all while trying to deal with my own health issues and finding the motivation to work out and eat right isn't any easier in the ol' PDX than it was in Lynn-hood.  Balance.  I'm working on it.  Seems I always am.  We're getting there with my thyroid dosage.  I'm feeling...better.  Not great, but better.  As for my mental health (ha), I need to get out of my own head and house once in awhile to appreciate what's around me.  I'm so blessed to have what I have -- I get that.  I feel that.  But...I just miss Seattle and all that it (and the surrounding cities) holds.  I miss Green Lake, the water, and even the cheesy Space Needle.  But Oh....I'm in a beautiful city here.  Don't get me wrong.  I love it here.  I love the friends I'm making...dear, dear friends.  I'm just in a weird place still.  I still haven't hung anything on my walls.  I feel like I need more time.  Maybe 2015 will feel new and different.  But for now...I choose to wallow a bit.

I'm sinking into the holiday season feeling less stressed than I have in years.  Things will get done, bought and decorated...in time.  I'm in no hurry.  I'm not being run by my schedule and our social calendar and it feels so good.  The lack of a social life (at least the kind we were accustomed to up north), has been amazing for our family.  It's insane to think about how busy we were up there, as I still consider us busy down here.  But it's not even close to the same.  We spend a lot of time with the kids, trying new restaurants, exploring new places. Our kids are thriving and happy.  After taking some time off, we've been (slowly) getting involved in our local Foursquare Church.  It's strange and good in some ways to be sort of anonymous.  I haven't sang in a good long while and I get quite emotional if I talk or think about it.  I feel like I am missing a limb.  But I know that will come.  I have been feeling challenged in this area in recent months.  I will be working hard to learn some new skills and polishing up some old ones in the coming new year.  So here I am.  A bit of a mess, but doing well.  If that's possible.

Ryan: He's awesome.  He's rocking his job and I'm so proud of him.  Most of all...he's still so happy at Nike.  I know he has been missing our friends and his guy friends a lot.  And I know he'd love to be doing music again in some capacity.  We're praying God provides those opportunities in the right time.

So that's us.  We're still feeling the newness of our situation, yet those tiny rips and tears are slowly healing and we are becoming more "Portlandia" by the day.  Note, I didn't say hipster -- which, by the way...I think I've seen just as many if not MORE hipsters in Fremont, Ballard and Seattle as we see here.  Silly people.

We love our home in our little village near our new city.  Life is good.  Crazy, crazy good.  I think we'll stay awhile.

Here are a few recent shots from recent visits with friends and Halloween!