Monday, September 1, 2014

:: Shifty ::

Two lunches are packed and sitting in the refrigerator.  Ready to be grabbed (probably in a last-minute hurry) and shoved into backpacks, only to return at the end of the day with sad, half-eaten scraps and juice-soaked napkins.  Two little beings are asleep in their beds, having gone to bed with nervous tummies in anticipation for the big day tomorrow.  Ryan and I could do nothing but hug, snuggle, wrestle, and hold them close as we prayed with them.

I can feel it...the shift.

What a busy summer we've had!  Many friends visited us down here - and on the weekends we did not have guests, we were away having our adventures.  We escaped reality for a few months, seeing familiar faces, pretending we weren't homesick.  Really, no time to feel homesick.  In my mind, I could pretend things were back to normal as I visited with my closest friends practically every weekend.  But now...

Tonight, our last guests have left.  Ryan and I stood on the porch waving, then looked at each other and asked, "Now what?"

Now...It's time to settle into Portland.  We can't put it off any more.  Into our new home.  It's time to celebrate new friendships, new babies and new victories.  It's time to learn new ways, begin new traditions and mourn the absence of old ones.

We'll be ok.  Life is good.  We get through our brief sad moments of homesickness together.  We have each other.

Day by day...that's how I plan on taking it.  Cherishing memories from before, but looking forward to making new ones.  These "day-by-days" are flying by - with one in 2nd, one in 1st and one in Pre-K, I feel like my babes are barely holding on to the end of my fingers.

I know, babies.  I'm nervous too.  I'm going to miss you too, Delia.  I'll miss our lunches at the park and our afternoons together.  It's ok.  You're going to do great!  Liam, I'll miss our morning snuggles 3 days a week, but I'll be so glad to still have time just with you.  Aidan, I'm excited for you - new teacher, new year.  You're going to be fantastic.  No longer the new kid, you'll fit right in like you've always been there.  You're going to do just fine.  And you'll love it.  Oh - don't worry about me.  I'll be home waiting for you when you get off the bus.  I'll find stuff to do to fill my time and if when I get lonely for you, I'll be there in your classroom, helping out and making goofy jokes at you in secret.  And your daddy, brother, sister and I will be yelling our faces off at your soccer games, starting this saturday.

Oh, kids.  You are loved.  You're ok.  You're gonna do great.

Let's settle in together.  Let's make Portland home for realsies.