Thursday, November 14, 2013

:: hello, me. ::

Oh San Fran. I settled into you as though you were a familiar, warm blanket. Memories flood me as I visit various places. 

I don't think it's coincidence that it is here where I find myself feeling more grounded and peaceful. I chuckle when I think of how my time alone began yesterday.  I began my first day to myself a bit apprehensive and with a stomach full of knots. I had to force myself out into the city. Immersion therapy would be an accurate discription. I navigated my way around and as the day wore on, I got more comfortable being alone. 

Today, I sprang out as quickly as I could, eager to begin my day of exploring. I threw in my headphones and just walked. No map, no plan. Walked nod walked. Now, I've settled into the day, not wanting this time alone to end. What has happened to me?!  While I wouldn't describe myself as an extrovert converted to an introvert, I can honestly say- I NEEDED THIS. When my counselor once asked me why I had such a hard time being alone, I couldn't answer her. I don't know if I try to avoid my own thoughts at times or if I just plain old don't like to spend time with ME. I'm a little annoyed at myself. This has been the best day. What have I been missing out on all of these years by avoiding myself?! I'm pretty awesome. I'm a great person to be with!!

You can bet I will be unplugging, plugging in my headphones and just taking off alone more often. 

Oh, I love you, SF.