Friday, February 15, 2013

:: whoa ::

I started this blog post a couple of weeks ago...never hit "publish"  

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So much going on.  Just...so much.

For starters, it's Wednesday.  I just realized YESTERDAY that Gia's birthday party is on Sunday.  Welcome to my life.

I just watched the season finale of Parenthood.  I really, really love this show.  I don't even cry during Hallmark commercials, but I find myself tearing up or sometimes downright weeping when I watch this show.  The actors, the characters, subject matter and the way it's put together just resonates with me.  I know it's Hollywood, but dang...it's good stuff.

The episode I watched today dealt with adoption.  There was a scene with the adoptee and his adoptive parents and their biological child, as they meet with the judge to sign the papers.  They were surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Each family member promised the boy wonderful things  - love, support, girlfriend advice in the future, teaching him how to play an instrument, etc.  As the boy skipped away after the papers were signed, he called his adoptive mom "mom" for the first time.  I wept.

I am so weird, you guys.  I've known my entire life that I am adopted, along with my 2 older brothers, who are completely biologically so.  I had the fortune (?)  no...what's the word...blessing, of being adopted into my own family.  I was 18 months old and my brothers were 3 and 5 (I think....).  Without going into too many details (of which I don't really have anyway, thanks to my young age at the time and the choice to "not know"), we were joyously taken in by (biologically speaking), my birth mom's sister - my aunt and of course, uncle.  Gah, it just feels weird typing those words because it seems ludicrous.  They're my mom and dad through and through - my parents.  Plain and simple.  Always have been, as far as I'm concerned.  :)  To me, my story has always felt like a book I read or a movie I watched.  I grew up with my biological grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.  Such a miraculous blessing my childhood was.  I never felt different or abnormal.  Never felt like I was missing out on something.  I had a happy, well-adjusted, drama-free upbringing.

There is so much attached to all of this and how I've arrived to where I am in my adulthood (maybe some future posts), but as I watched that Parenthood episode today, it just really hit home for some reason.  Punched me right in the heart.  I don't say it enough.  I was saved.  I was plucked up, cradled, loved...and SAVED.

My loving, young parents went from zero kids to THREE.  Three kids 5 and under.  I had this exact age scenario not too long ago and I can't IMAGINE going from none to that.  They are superheroes.  They did a really hard thing.

Thank you, mom and dad.  I owe you so much.  I can't imagine where I would be if it hadn't been for you.  I'm proud to say I'm a daddy's girl and always have been.  I was brought up by such a loving, committed, attentive father...so important for a little girl.  Daddy, you saved me.  You showed me such a Father's love and set the bar high for me.  You treated me like a princess.  Showered me with attention and made sure you were my Valentine every year.  You don't know that when you came home to my house Valentine's Day of 2010 when I was tired, emotional, hugely pregnant and about to give birth to my third chid, bearing flowers and a card, I went up to my room and bawled like a baby.  I love how you love your daughters.  Mom, you have so much of your own mother in you.  Each time I see you, my grandmother is reflected right back.  Such a loving, caring, and nurturing heart.  There's a reason I always want my mom when I'm ill.  Your care and servant's heart have blessed me so many times.  You've taught me how to be a servant.  How to care for my babies (from the very beginning, at their birth).  I'm so proud to say my mom attended each of my births and helped me become a mommy. I'll never forget that first night back at home after having Aidan, as we sat at the table late into the night as I pumped and pumped, determined to bring in my milk supply.  You taught me how to bathe, feed, clothe my babies.  You helped me take care of my body when I just wanted to curl up on the couch and slip into a sleep coma.  You stayed up and fed my newbies pumped milk so I could sleep for those first few rough nights.  I'll never, ever, forget those days.  How much we laughed, cried, and sang through those first days and nights.  Such amazing, special memories.  I can't say thank you enough.  I don't say it often enough.  I love you both so very much.

Happy Valentine's Day, Mom and Dad.  I don't say it nearly enough.  Thank you for what you did for me -- for us.  For your sacrifice and faithfulness.  It wasn't always perfect, but what family is?  Besides...I am who I am today because of you.  

And, I love you.