Wednesday, August 10, 2011

:: from the archives ::

i have a confession.  i still have a myspace account.  today, i decided to log in for the first time in, well, YEARS.  the reason i keep my account is due to the fact that i have old blog posts there that i don't want to lose.  i'm going to start transferring the good ones over to here.  this one was especially poignant, as i was in the throes of working full time and trying to conceive after a couple of years of trying.  it was interesting to read again and see how things have changed, life has progressed, and prayers have been answered.

bits and pieces.

Current mood:discontent

i wonder what my life will be in 10 20 years....
i wonder if i'll ever have kids.
i wonder how people get away with being mean
i wonder if i'll ever start journaling again
i wonder who my real, genuine friends are (i know some, for sure are!)
i wonder if my brothers will ever come around
if i should contact my biological family more
should i change job careers?
when will i get my house clean?
what kind of plants should i plant in my new backyard?
i wonder what refried beans are really made of
why do my toenails grow so fast?
why am i not tired tonight?
i wonder why i have grey hairs at 26 years old.
what's causing my new little frown wrinkle?
how do you get rid of chronic dry skin?

i just realized that i am a little overwhelmed with things these days.  there are so many things that i want to happen, and they just AREN'T.  i'm frustrated and a little bit confused.  the human side of me wants to take control and MAKE it happen, and gets even more frustrated when i realize it's all out of my control.  then i remember.  i don't have control, and that's a GOOD thing!  i'm trying to have more faith.  this faith thing is hard sometimes.  i'm glad i don't have to figure it all out.  i'm relieved, actually.  Someone else is already doing that for me. *PHEW*  but would someone please pray that my one wish will come true?  thank you.