Wednesday, April 21, 2010

:: blank ::

My morning plans today have been cancelled.  I have a steaming mug of fresh coffee, perfectly infused with a little bit of cream and sugar.  It's raining outside and I've decided to let the 2 eldest sleep in.  Liam has been fed, changed and is now fast asleep in his swing [what a godsend this little swing is].  I've been sitting here for almost 40 minutes with a blinking cursor on a blank post.  I have so many thoughts running around in my head, it's hard to get them out - or decide which ones should, rather.  I've decided I'll list them out all crazy and randomlike.  Don't you love it when I'm all crazy and randomlike?

~ Spring cleaning.  Garage.  Closets.  Clutter.  It all needs to go.  I can't wait to put my ever-growing mental list on paper and present it to Ryan.

~ Food.  I want to plant some stuff.  Get my hands dirty.  Things I need are: tomatoes, zucchini, herbs.  Maybe some beans.  Find a good local butcher.  Reasonably priced.  It's time to know where my food comes from.

~ Death.  It's ever-present.  Grief.  Some longtime friends were killed in a car accident 2 days ago.  They were elderly and madly in love.  They were best friends.  They went together.  Instantly.  They're with Jesus now, which takes the sting away.

~ Money.  Never enough of it.  I'm taking a summer job at my previous employer, A&W Bottling and Unique Beverage.  I'm excited to do something a little different, but nervous about how it's all going to work out.  I'm excited to earn a little $ and hopefully get a new camera and help with the hospital bills that will soon roll in.

~ Marriage.  Always a work in progress.  Ryan's been extra busy this week and I have literally seen him for a couple of hours since Monday.  This always makes me grumpy - not only because he's mostly out doing fun stuff while I'm stuck here at home, but it just feels a little...off.  I need a vacation.

~ Self.  We got a treadmill awhile back, while I was still pregnant with Liam.  Ryan started a running regimen, then the belt on the treadmill broke.  The machine was free to us and the replacement belt was around $85, so we decided to search on Craigslist and put the $85 towards a better machine.  We found a great deal on a really nice treadmill.  I have started to run as well, beginning with interval running to get my stamina up where it needs to be.  Picture my progress as a garden hose when you first turn it on.  Slowly sputtering to a start...waiting for the consistent flow.  It's fairly easy since I'm at home now and pairing it with the Wii Fit, I hope to see some real progress.  I now need to assess my diet and make changes appropriately to see that happen.  I'm still sputtering a little, figuring out my stride, my breathing, what stretches help/don't help, what shoes I need to buy (I ran barefoot yesterday...can't do that anymore), and set some goals for myself.

~ Kids.  Aidan is 99% potty trained.  He still wets the bed pretty consistently at night.  He's a solid 12-14 hour sleeper and I just don't think he can wake himself up in the night in order to go.  I need to do a little research on what works at this point, or if I just wait it out.  Delia's really taking strides in the potty training arena, thank God.  I think she'll be done by summer.  Liam?  He just sleeps all the time.  8 - 9 hours a night...hallelujah, and still a lot during the day.  He's really started cooing and smiling, which just makes my day.  The older two are so gentle and tender with him with words and actions.  Aidan loves to give him his paci when he cries...I watched the other day as he sat next to the swing saying, "It's okay, little buddy.  I'm here."  Fills me with emotion.  They really love their little brother.

~ My house.  Oh, man...my house.  I need to just walk through with a huge trash bag and start chucking stuff.  There are hotwheels EVERYWHERE (our fault for buying them obsessively every time we went to Fred Meyer.  They were potty treats), fake food everywhere, dolls, stuffed animals, musical instruments...sigh.  I try to tell myself daily that there will come a day...it'll all be gone and I'll have my house back in order.  Sometimes I catch myself saying that I hate walking into my house and seeing kids' stuff everywhere.  But you know what?  They live here too.  I need to remember that.  They'll be out of the house one day and I will sob.  Maybe I should just keep on having babies.  HA.

~ Music.  Ryan and I are the worship leaders at our church.  We work really hard to lead our congregation in meaningful worship.  I know from experience that there are always opinions, criticisms, etc. of leaders.  Normally, I don't let stuff bother me when I hear/see it.  Sometimes it even makes me laugh.  Someone said our music was sad.  I don't really know how to take that and I don't know why I am letting it bother me.  I mean, there is a certain reverence and quiet when you do slower songs (we had an acoustic set that day) and people tend to reflect more.  But sad?  Really?  I'm still mulling over this one.  Maybe I'm just tired.  Yeah, that's it.  We get enough positive feedback to cancel out the few negatives.

~ Blog posts.  It's been hard for me to get myself to sit down and put my thoughts out, even though it really helps me to do so.  I'm going to set some goals to this effect.  I have some ideas for some posts, as well as a new domain.  Just need to set it all up.  Bah.  I need to post some new pictures of the kids - especially my Liam.  He's growing so fast!

Life is coming at me fast these days.  I am excited to have my cousins tomorrow through Saturday to pick up the energy around here!  They are lovely, sprightly girls and are a ton of fun to have around.  I see some baking, Wii-ing and laughing in the near future.  I also get to escape for a bit to get my hair done on friday.  Oh, sweet bliss...

Happy Rainy Wednesday to all of you.