Thursday, January 7, 2010

:: 33 ::

I decided to put the blog changes on the back burner...not enough time or energy, so I'll wait until after baby is here, probably.

So, here I am at 33 weeks.  I've remained pretty calm up until this point, but I gotta be honest, I'm beginning to panic just a little.  Trying to get the energy to figure out everything I still need (2 babies have worn out lots of my stuff) from bottles to seasonal-appropriate stuff and burp rags (mine are gross).  Need to stock up on some diapers, wipes and sanity.  I think it's all been coming to a head the past week or so, especially after being so sick for so long (cold is gone now...knock knock) with low energy levels as well.  My two kids keep me on my toes as it is and I'm beginning to panic just a little bit that I won't have what it takes to manage a third.  And the funny part?  This baby was the Planned One.  Aidan was a surprise after over 2 years of "trying" and Delia was, well...kind of an "oops" (but I'm SO glad it happened that way now!).  Not having any energy, a ginormous belly and sore ribs/back certainly does not help with my mental capacity either.  I'm just tired of putting on my happy brave face and clenching my jaw whenever anyone accuses me of being tired.  Ok (waving little white flag)...you're all correct - I AM TIRED!!  :)  I am so blessed to have such dear friends to take the kids of my hands - lately on many occasions.  Seriously, guys.  I don't know what I would do without you.  Anyway, I'm finally coming to grips with reality and the fact that Liam will be here SOON.  I know once he gets here, it'll be a "new normal" and I'll wonder what the heck life was like without him, etc.  But until then, I remain apprehensive and a little afraid.  You don't know how tough it is for me to admit that.  I just refuse to become a "homebody" mom who never leaves her house with her kids.  That's no way to live.  I HAVE to get out.  I plan on continuing Greenlake walks this spring, zoo trips, Mariner games and outings.  I haven't exactly worked out the logistics yet, but I will.  Ok, enough honesty.  It's time to slap my happy mask back on* and get to the gory details.

Week 33:

Liam:

- weighs a little over 4 pounds!  think: pineapple

- over 17 inches long

- rapidly losing wrinkled alien look, skeleton is hardening

- not moving quite as frequently.  violently, yes.  frequently, no.  must be running out of room.

- is head down

- likes kicking my sore ribs, God help me.

- "tickles" me from the inside with his twee hands.  Weirdest Feeling Ever.

- has frequent bouts of hiccups.

Me:

- Well, huge.

- Sore ribs, blah blah blah

- BP is normal!

- Slightly anemic (again) and taking iron supplements.

- Zero to no appetite still.  Wah.

- Misses shaving my legs every day, but doesn't miss feeling like I'm gonna pass out from shaving my legs every day.

- Frantically trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to need.

- Nesting.  Have the urges, don't have the energy.  Want to sob mostly all of the time.

- Want to sob mostly all of the time (I'll say it again).

33

Ok, so I know for all the honest complaining I've done in this post, contrary to what you may think after reading it, I am excited to finally meet this little one.  This pregnancy has been relatively easy and drama free and I count it a blessing that I am able to bear children and have a family.  I also have two relatively easy children at home who are loving, caring and intelligent little people.  You can believe Liam has 8 loving arms just waiting to welcome him into our little (?) family.

*I am half-kidding.  I really am happy, but trying to learn that I don't have to always hide it when I'm not.  Meh.