Thursday, March 12, 2009

:: happylujah ::

"Happylujah! Happylujah!" is what I hear right now in Aidan's little monitor.  He's in bed, trying so hard to go to sleep, but these times (when he is in bed) seem to be some of his happiest times.  He's so joyous when he talks to himself in bed, right until he falls asleep.  He has deep conversations with Hee Hee about boogers, tooting, yogurt, drums, and time outs.  This kid loves his bed.  Amen.

I've been cranky this week.  Like, really cranky.  I feel out of sorts, stuck in a rut, and annoyed most of the time and I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.  Poor Ryan.  Poor kids.  Ah, well...we're all allowed to have days like these, right?  As long as we recognize it, apologize, move on and change it, right?  RIGHT?!?!!!  Blech.  We've had so many pointless expenses come up - HOA fees, a new carseat is needed for Delia (I guess that's not really pointless, but just bad timing), car tabs (plus emissions and a license plate replacement fee?!?) and more.  I'm trying to be uber frugal and not spend unnecessarily and such.  But I want to find the kids cute Easter outfits and get their pictures taken together, which I've never done.  I'm on a horrible birth control that makes me HOT all. of. the. time.  I can't even go up a flight of stairs without breaking a sweat.  I'm not getting regular workouts at the gym.  I really need some new shoes so I won't get horrible shin splints and can step it up.  Aidan has been especially "2-ish" lately.  I have a ton of laundry to do and my bathrooms need cleaning, plus numerous other projects.  I have a box that has been sitting, ready to mail for weeks now.  Argh.  I'm bored with the meals I've been making (working on some new ideas).

Moods like this are really few and far between for me.  I'm so glad.  It's just that lately, I'm trying really hard to be content.  I'm in the beginnings of  The Year of Me and working through some issues.  I'm working on my marriage.  I'm working on my parenting skills.  I know these things don't happen overnight...wish they did.  I just love my husband and my little family.  I don't want to be a cranky, overwhelmed wife and mommy.  I'm just having "one of those weeks".  And that's okay, I think.  I'm glad I'm not always like this - how miserable!!  I'll be back to my normal self soon, I hope.  :)  I shall declare it to be so.

I miss my brothers.  Ugh.  I just want to hug them.  I have 2 older brothers.  Joey is...33?  Billy is 31.  They're awesome.  I don't tell them enough.  I should post more about them.  I think I will!  But not right now.  I'm going to grab my wine, read my book and try to get un-cranky.